My little Jujube.

I hate jujubes. A lot. They are high on my least favorite candies list, and that list is not big.

But there is a little person whom I love with all my heart that I call jujube. She is an adorable, curly strawberry blond with chubby cheeks and a little round belly that she can push out to a surprising bulge, little girl. She runs along with her bouncy little steps singing all day. She calls her big sister ' My Eeta' and copies everything she does. If you ask her what she had for supper last night she will tell you 'Bahzann-ya' Lasagna? 'yep Bahzann-ya'. OK try this, La zahn ya. good Lasagna! "Bahzann-ya!! I did it!" She crows!! Matt and I talked about it with her for at least ten minuted last night because she says it SO cute!! She loves her books, and songs if I only sing the first part of "You are My Sunshine" she says, 'Sing, De odder night dear while I was seeping pees Mom!'

Oh She is my baby, and I love her and I think about what will happen when we have another baby. I hope she stays my special girl! Maybe its just the age but I get along with Juju better than Nita. Maybe its because she is the second daughter and I am too. Either way she is my sunshine and I love her!!

Happy Thought: It is supposed to stop raining this weekend! And I was thinking about babies yesterday and I felt happy and positive about it, instead of dread and longing.

A new home?

So it looks like we are moving out to Fort Macleod!! There are about six places to rent there and two we had found last week are taken. (Eeek!) So I really hope we find something good soon. We have lived in this house for three years! Which (I think) is the longest we have been anywhere. Julia was born while we lived here, Matt graduated from university. I know three years isn't much in the long run but it is a large chunk of our life as a family. Thinking of the changes that have occurred while we live here, I don't know if I have changed much. I hope I have. I hope I have become a better person, learned things and grown , been a better mother, wife and woman. I don't think I am very good at seeing good things about myself. It is easy to see things I need to change, but I have trouble when it comes time to make a change.

So as our life changes, as we move on to a new job and a new home I hope I can change too, grow and learn, become better. I desperately want to be better, a better mother, a better wife, a better cook , housekeeper, more creative, more spiritual, it goes on and on, but where do I start? What should I do first? How do I know what I want to become is what I should become?

At Time Out for Women a few weeks ago the theme was 'Choose to Become'. I think that I need to better define who I want to become, I know perfect would be great but I think I need to be more specific, maybe then some clarity will come. I will see what I need to work on first, what path to take.

Happy Thought: I know I am a Child of God, and I know my potential. ( i just need to figure out how to get there) And I am thankful for my Mom who has taught me my worth!!

The Job!

The last few months have been a little difficult, with the miscarriage, Matt being stressed about money and a whole lot of other things, we finally feel like things are moving forward! We were seriously considering leaving and finding a new job closer to family and that would pay better. Even though Matt was done his training he wasn't getting posted and it was driving me nuts! I seriously wanted to give his boss a piece of my mind! Did he not realize that he was messing with out lives and we could do nothing until we knew where we would be going?

However we both received advice from out fathers that we should stay here and wait a little more, when we realized that in separate converstaions we were getting the same answer we figured that we should probably listen! With in a week or so of deciding to stay we got posted!!

So after what felt like months, but was more like weeks, of waiting Matt has his official job!! I am SO excited and relieved! So we will be in Ft. Macleod. Not sure if we will move out there or not yet but that will come in time. Its nice to be moving forward and know where we will be for the next few years! ( job wise at least) The pay increase will be nice too!!

Happy Thought: Well it is a bit obvious, Matt got POSTED!!!! Also I'm feeling a lot better lately and had a blast at Time Out for Women, which is another story for another day!!