Going home!

In two days I will be making the long (12 hr) trek home to visit my parents!! I am SO excited to be home especially in the summer and eat all of mom's yummy garden food! I haven't been home in a few years, due to Matt being in school and having a junker for a car, but now we a have a job and a good car! Matt just can;t take time off in the summer so i am heading out with the girls! I willl be picking up my little sister from EFY in Calgary on the way through so she will be a big help on the drive up.

We will go swimming in the river, go for quad rides, walk through the fields, eat tonnes of raspberries and garden carrots and visit old friends!!

Its sad to leave Matt, he has a hard time being with out us, hopefully he will keep busy and find lots of things to do. I love him for not complaining about us leaving, I know he is thinking it. He understands my need to visit back home. even thought my parents were just here for a few days when we moved ( which I need to write about still).

So I am off to do laundry and try to get the house as put together as I can before we head out tomorrow night.

• Happy Thought: the weather should be beautiful up north next week! And I get to go my sisters famous book club on friday night!!

My little Jujube.

I hate jujubes. A lot. They are high on my least favorite candies list, and that list is not big.

But there is a little person whom I love with all my heart that I call jujube. She is an adorable, curly strawberry blond with chubby cheeks and a little round belly that she can push out to a surprising bulge, little girl. She runs along with her bouncy little steps singing all day. She calls her big sister ' My Eeta' and copies everything she does. If you ask her what she had for supper last night she will tell you 'Bahzann-ya' Lasagna? 'yep Bahzann-ya'. OK try this, La zahn ya. good Lasagna! "Bahzann-ya!! I did it!" She crows!! Matt and I talked about it with her for at least ten minuted last night because she says it SO cute!! She loves her books, and songs if I only sing the first part of "You are My Sunshine" she says, 'Sing, De odder night dear while I was seeping pees Mom!'

Oh She is my baby, and I love her and I think about what will happen when we have another baby. I hope she stays my special girl! Maybe its just the age but I get along with Juju better than Nita. Maybe its because she is the second daughter and I am too. Either way she is my sunshine and I love her!!

Happy Thought: It is supposed to stop raining this weekend! And I was thinking about babies yesterday and I felt happy and positive about it, instead of dread and longing.

A new home?

So it looks like we are moving out to Fort Macleod!! There are about six places to rent there and two we had found last week are taken. (Eeek!) So I really hope we find something good soon. We have lived in this house for three years! Which (I think) is the longest we have been anywhere. Julia was born while we lived here, Matt graduated from university. I know three years isn't much in the long run but it is a large chunk of our life as a family. Thinking of the changes that have occurred while we live here, I don't know if I have changed much. I hope I have. I hope I have become a better person, learned things and grown , been a better mother, wife and woman. I don't think I am very good at seeing good things about myself. It is easy to see things I need to change, but I have trouble when it comes time to make a change.

So as our life changes, as we move on to a new job and a new home I hope I can change too, grow and learn, become better. I desperately want to be better, a better mother, a better wife, a better cook , housekeeper, more creative, more spiritual, it goes on and on, but where do I start? What should I do first? How do I know what I want to become is what I should become?

At Time Out for Women a few weeks ago the theme was 'Choose to Become'. I think that I need to better define who I want to become, I know perfect would be great but I think I need to be more specific, maybe then some clarity will come. I will see what I need to work on first, what path to take.

Happy Thought: I know I am a Child of God, and I know my potential. ( i just need to figure out how to get there) And I am thankful for my Mom who has taught me my worth!!

The Job!

The last few months have been a little difficult, with the miscarriage, Matt being stressed about money and a whole lot of other things, we finally feel like things are moving forward! We were seriously considering leaving and finding a new job closer to family and that would pay better. Even though Matt was done his training he wasn't getting posted and it was driving me nuts! I seriously wanted to give his boss a piece of my mind! Did he not realize that he was messing with out lives and we could do nothing until we knew where we would be going?

However we both received advice from out fathers that we should stay here and wait a little more, when we realized that in separate converstaions we were getting the same answer we figured that we should probably listen! With in a week or so of deciding to stay we got posted!!

So after what felt like months, but was more like weeks, of waiting Matt has his official job!! I am SO excited and relieved! So we will be in Ft. Macleod. Not sure if we will move out there or not yet but that will come in time. Its nice to be moving forward and know where we will be for the next few years! ( job wise at least) The pay increase will be nice too!!

Happy Thought: Well it is a bit obvious, Matt got POSTED!!!! Also I'm feeling a lot better lately and had a blast at Time Out for Women, which is another story for another day!!

Spring!!

I think its really here! There have been warm days earlier than the current ones, but they haven't felt or smelled right. We went for a walk yesterday evening and it was so lovely, warm enough for just a sweater and it was pretty late in the evening. It makes me happy!! And it smells heavenly. Its like you can smell the plants waking up. I read The Secret Garden a few weeks ago. I love the way spring is described, the smells and all the plants coming alive!

We had a lovely week off before easter, the visit from Mom and my little sister was great, and for once not too short!! I sure miss Dad and my brothers though.

(A, Me, Mom, and my little Sister)

Easter was nice too, we had dinner with our friends sunday, and the easter bunny cam saturday morning! We awoke to a very excited little girl exclaiming over the trail of chocolate eggs leading down the hall. She could barley wait for us to get up and wake her little sister!

I taught the easer story to my sunday school class (age 9 adn 10) and I think it went over their heads, they know the story I would guess but, they weren't too into it. Well, it was good for me either way, I am really learning to love the scriptures, and we are doing the New Testament this year so its extra nice to learn more about the Savior.

So now easter is over and its back to normal life but its spring!!!!! So that makes everything nicer.

Happy thought: The snuggles I get from a feverish little girl. I hope she gets better soon.

Little Girls

With all that has been going on in the last month ( miscarriage that dragged on and on), I have not been doing the best at giving the girls the attention they need. So I am resolving to do better, now that I have more energy and and feeling mostly myself again, I am going to direct more energy into doing things with them. Anita and I are watching the Little Mermaid together and it made me think about being little and how into things you could get, as a child everything so real and easy ti become immersed in.

I need to be immersed in their little worlds, I need to get down on the floor and play instead of being off in my busy grownup world.

I love my kids so much and I want to keep them little as long as possible, so more kid time, more play more interaction!!

Happy Thought: Matt is getting interviewed this week for a position in Picture Butte. Maybe the wait to get posted is almost over!!!

Catch up!

Whew! So I'm thinking I need to do a little better at this blog thing, 3 months is a little long.

Well a lot has happened, Christmas was great, the highlight being Duncan (my little brother's) wedding. He married a girl who I was friends with years ago, so it was a really fun time! And Julia turned 2!! ( I'll find the pictures soon).

Matt's job with ATB is going well. He spent tree weeks in Brooks. We were with him for two. It was fun while it lasted but being in a hotel for two weeks, well I was glad when it was over. It was also stinking cold!

We went to the temple last Saturday for the first time in ages. It was really great to go and spend time with Matt. On the way there I saw a robin!!!

Growing up waiting for the first signs of spring was done with much anticipation and celebration. I grew up in northern Alberta. Winter is a bit longer up there. Mom would celebrate when the sun had moved to shine in a certain window in the mornings! Down here it is different, the geese are here all year and the robins show up a month or so earlier than back home.

Plus there is no snow half or the winter.

In a was I miss the norther change of seasons. They were a bit more noticeable and drastic. Like the ditches over flowing with water and old ice that would slowly give way under rubber boots and you would have to move fast to avoid a bootful of frigid water.

The change of seasons if a fun and exciting time, but sometimes it is sad too. I feel the seasons of my life change a little once in a while as I go through new experiences, some exciting, some sad.

I recently had a miscarriage. It was very early. But it is still such a sad thing. It is interesting that sometimes until you experience something you have no idea how many others have experienced it too.

I have had such support from friends and family, and though I still have some days that are sad there are more and more happy ones in between. And I still need to give my body time to recover, I was pregnant and so my body has to get back to normal. And it is probably more difficult on my body to just be getting used to the idea of pregnancy just to have it end suddenly than it is to recover from a full term one where it can go through the steps properly.

Any way, I still get emotional over silly things. The girls were watching 'Lady and the Tramp' the other day and it make me cry. It was so silly. I wans't even watching it. I just heard Jim Dear on the phone to Aunt Sarah telling her they had a boy, he was so excited. And I just stood in the kitchen crying and laughing at myself.

Well I think I will quit while I am ahead.

Happy Thought: I am healthy, I can get pregnant again. I have a wonderful family.